Alexander Hamilton, His Name is Alexander Hamilton
by Queenmeow
Summary: Alexander Hamilton is bad at making Life Decisions , but he never thought his friends, family, and enemies would all see those terrible life decisions in the form of a musical, all due this god damned girl. Who honestly, was the modern female version of him, who instead of law, got into psychology, and instead of debating, likes to rip you apart and stare into your soul for fun.
1. an intro

Alternate title, The psych major is actually a psychopath.

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yeah im making one of these bc i have yet to see a finished one.

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It was a weird experience. The transportation. That's what they call it after the fact. After the tears and screams. After everyone tried to kill each other or say sorry, usually both at the same time. But that's not the point, the point is, is that the transportation fucking sucked. Everyone reported, that it's was like getting plucked out of their body, piece by piece, some said they felt light and were pulled out, like someone had taken their hand and were pulling them out of the dark and into the light. Others felt like they were being weighed down by an enormous weight, the light extinguished from their eyes as they were pushed into the darkness.

To make a long story short, the transportation was emotionally draining. I mean, being dragged through time to a single point far into the future, far after all of them were dead, had to have some adverse affects on their bodies. So it was no surprise that even if they some hated each other, or some had some choice words to say, they were all too tired to do anything but be surprised when they suddenly appeared in what looked to be dead center in a theater box.

"What the fuc-"

"Shh!" They all looked to the left, where a young girl, probably no older than eighteen sitting with her eyes wide at the blank stage.

"Young lady, what are you wearing!" Eliza lambasted. Everyone looked at the girl closely and were astonished with what they saw. Her brown hair was pulled into a ponytail, but most had fallen out into curls on her back, but what drew there eyes was how exposed she was, wearing blue-ish rough-ish looking shorts, that you would only see on a man, and a shirt that barely covered all of her stomach.

"Miss, I know you're not from this time, but I would rather that you not subtly slut-shame me for my choice in clothing. I particularly like what I'm wearing today." Everyone cringed at the girl's words. The girl's eyes stopped shining as she turned to everyone and looked at them individually. She walked up to them and started going in a line shaking each one of their hands. "Hi! You can call me K, it's not my real name, but I don't give my name out to long dead political figures." She looked very serious even though she quickly began to laugh. She ran up to Burr looking excited. "Pardon me, but are you Aaron Burr sir?"

Burr looked confused and shook the girl's- K's hand. "Uh yes?"

The girl looked star-struck. She whispered reverently, "I've always wanted to say that." SHe cleared her throat as everyone look at her strangely. "Oh my gosh I'm so sorry, I've never payed attention in history class and I have no manners, but I'll try to make you as comfortable as possible as I uproot your life." Everyone looked at each other nervously. "Right," she clapped her hands together. "As I said before you can call me K, and I'm the one who brought you here. You guys are from the 1800's ish? Right?" Someone tentatively nodded their head. K pumped her fist in the air. "Suck it dad! I did learn something in High School other than how to bullsit my way through and get high honors. Right so you guys are obviously not in the 1800's anymore, you're in 2017 and the US has gone to shit very quickly and I'm wondering if seeing you guys react to how you made your government, through a musical about a special someone, will help me find a way to fix our government."

"So is that why you brought us here?" Hercules voiced.

"Fuck no."

"A young lady like you should not swear as much as you do!" Washington berated. K snorted.

"I'm not your daughter Mr. President, and you're not my president. I don't have to listen to you."

Lafayette was quick to interrupt." Calm down, young miss. That doesn't matter." Lafayette smiled, and K fanned herself subtly and whispered to herself "why are boys never this fucking charming oh my god." Lafayette continued. "What matters is why did you bring us here?"

K cleared her throat and recovered. "I'm a psych major and I need a thesis paper."

"What?" Hercules pushed himself back into the conversation.

"I need a paper and how fucking cool would it be to write a paper on the major political figures of the USA have a mental breakdown right in front of me?"

"What?!"

"Chill your roll man" K shook her head, like she just hadn't admitted that she was willing to cause mental trauma to get a good grade. "God, you haven't even noticed that the man of the hour, the one this is all about, isn't here."

Everyone looked around confusedly. Lafayette, Jefferson, Washington, Burr, all candidates of who K was talking about, but they were all here. K sighed.

"It's very quiet…" She said slowly, like she was talking to idiots, and not people of incredible political prowess who could squash her. "It because someone certain is missing…

Suddenly Jefferson stood up straight and looked at K dead in the eye. "They made a musical about that buffoon and not me?"

K rolled her eyes. "No wonder we didn't."

"What buffoon?" Hercules questioned.

"Hamilton you idiots!" Jefferson screeched. Everyone erupted in chatter. K rolled her eyes, she seem fond of that.

"Is no one going to ask me why he isn't here?"

"Why isn't he here?"

"He'll be here, but after the first song, for maximum angst. After all distance make the heart grow fonder."

"I think it is, Absence makes the heart grow fonder." Jefferson said snottily. Suddenly, as if she had teleported K was on Jefferson, pushing him to the floor.

"I already think you're an asshole, and I'm the one who has all the power here. You're wrong, I'm right, always. Are we clear?" K's eyes were fiery and everyone gulped. Jefferson nodded in fear, and suddenly as if nothing had happened, K was back in her seat staring at the stage. Music began to play and K began to vibrate excitedly. "It's starting, It's starting!"

She snapped her fingers, and like magic they were all seated in a theater box. "Be quiet you guys It's starting!" No one said anything to defend themselves that they weren't speaking, but no one wanted to mess with the freaky powerful and angry girl who spoke a mile a minute and had wild hair. A man walked on stage to start the play when suddenly K screamed, "I love you Lin-Miranda! You're really cute! I like your musical!" The man looked like he had the air knocked out of him but he smiled and continued. K's eyes shined like actual stars and she was at the edge of her seat, and suddenly disappeared, leaving everyone to gape at where she once sat, but their attention was soon brought back to the stage.

"I'm proud to present, Hamilton: An American Musical!"


	2. alexander hamilton

_**me myself: die**_

 _ **me: no u die**_

 _ **me: wait**_

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so like, this isnt too terrible. im excited to write.

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 **How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore**

"Wow, I guess we are jumping right into this." Hercules said at the exact same time Burr whispered, "Is that supposed to be me?!"

 **And a Scotsman, dropped in the middle of a forgotten spot in the Caribbean by providence impoverished,  
In squalor, grow up to be a hero and a scholar?**

"Hamilton, while I'm loathe to admit it when he's around, is actually quite a genius." Burr admitted.

Jefferson breathed in, probably to say some bullshit, but everyone around him turned to 'shh' at him. He huffed and laid back farther in his seat.

 **The ten-dollar founding father without a father**  
 **Got a lot farther by working a lot harder**

"He obviously never grew out of that habit," Lafayette whispered to Eliza, and she laughed in assent.

 **By being a lot smarter By being a self-starter  
By fourteen, they placed him in charge of a trading charter**

"Well damn," Hercules whistled, "That's really impressive." Angelica and Eliza nodded in agreement, their eyes riveted on the stage.

 **And every day while slaves were being slaughtered and carted away**  
 **Across the waves, he struggled and kept his guard up**  
 **Inside, he was longing for something to be a part of**  
 **The brother was ready to beg, steal, borrow, or barter**

"Stealing is illegal…" Jefferson noted. Eliza slapped him.

"Like you could've done half the things my husband has done in his circumstances!" Eliza yelled at him.

"You're still calling him your husband with pride after that Reynolds fiasco?" Jefferson wrinkled up his nose. Angelica had to grab her sister, and pull her down back to her seat.

 **Then a hurricane came, and devastation reigned  
Our man saw his future drip, dripping down the drain  
Put a pencil to his temple, connected it to his brain  
And he wrote his first refrain, a testament to his pain**

 **Well, the word got around, they said, this kid is insane, man**

"Man, anyone can see that." Hercules laughed.

 **Took up a collection just to send him to the mainland  
Get your education, don't forget from whence you came  
And the world is gonna know your name  
What's your name, man?**

 **Alexander Hamilton**

"Oooh! Lin-Miranda is such a great singer." K was back, and leaning over the rail. She turned back to everyone and they flinched when she focused on each of them. "Did you miss me?"

It was Lafayette who spoke. "Honestly miss? Not at all." K stared at him in shock and so did everyone around him, suddenly worried if Lafayette was going to spontaneously explode. K launched forward all smiles and hugged him.

"I like you! You're really charming and funny!" She said smiling widely. Her face turned serious. "But I really want to watch this… " She then disappeared, just as she had before.

 **My name is Alexander Hamilton  
And there's a million things I haven't done  
But just you wait, just you wait**

"He keeps saying that, but doesn't wait himself." Burr whispered to Eliza. Eliza laughed quietly.

"The man is non-stop." She agreed.

 **When he was ten his father split, full of it, debt-ridden  
Two years later, see Alex and his mother bed-ridden  
Half-dead sittin' in their own sick, the scent thick**

 **And Alex got better but his mother went quick**

Everyone sucked in a heavy breath. So that's what had happened. It was obvious now that they looked back. Hamilton was naturally overbearing whenever someone got sick, no matter how minor the illness.

 **Moved in with a cousin, the cousin committed suicide**

 **Left him with nothin' but ruined pride, something new inside voice saying  
Alex, you gotta fend for yourself**

 **He started retreatin' and readin' every treatise on the shelf**

 **There would have been nothin' left to do for someone less astute**  
 **He woulda been dead or destitute without a cent of restitution**  
 **Started workin', clerkin' for his late mother's landlord**  
 **Tradin' sugar cane and rum and all the things he can't afford**  
 **Scammin' for every book he can get his hands on**

"Scamming is also illegal." Jefferson interjected once again. Eliza also slapped him again.

"Shh. Listen."

 **Plannin' for the future see him now as he stands on the bow of a ship headed for a new land  
In New York you can be a new man**

 **In New York you can be a new man**  
 **In New York you can be a new man**  
 **In New York you can be a new man**  
 **In New York you can be a new man**

 **Just you wait**

 **Alexander Hamilton**

 **We are waiting in the wings for you**

 **You could never back down**  
 **You never learned to take your time**

"Preach it." Eliza and Angelica said in-time. The smiled sadly at each other.

"He's never satisfied." Angelica sighed.

 **Oh, Alexander Hamilton**

 **When America sings for you**  
 **Will they know what you overcame?**  
 **Will they know you rewrote your game?**  
 **The world will never be the same, oh**

 **The ship is in the harbor now**  
 **See if you can spot him**

 **Another immigrant comin' up from the bottom**

 **His enemies destroyed his rep America forgot him**

"How could anyone forget a blabbermouth like him?" The words were cruel out of Jefferson's mouth but his tone was minutely fond. He sneered when everyone looked at him, and everyone recoiled and returned their gazes to the stage.

 **We fought with him**

 **Me, I died for him**

Hercules and Lafayette sighed. They knew Hamilton would also have been downtrodden by having that fact slammed back at him

 **Me, I trusted him**

 **Me, I loved him** **And me, I'm the damn fool that shot him**

" _What the actual fuck!_ " Eliza screeched turning on Aaron. Glares were all pinned upon Burr and even Jefferson seemed shocked. Eliza looked like she was about to pounce until K appeared again.

"Hiya! Don't kill Aaron Burr please. That would suck! Like a lot" She stepped in between the two and everyone realized how short K actually was, compared even to Burr and Eliza. "He didn't do it yet, and will never do it now. Hamilton is fine, please calm down!" She gave a blinding smile and Eliza backed down reluctantly, if only not to fight with the short and angry girl. "See? We can all be friends" She grabbed both Eliza and Burr into a group hug.

 **There's a million things I haven't done  
But just you wait**

 **What's your name, man?**

 **Alexander Hamilton**

K snapped her fingers and laughed. "Enter the man himself! She says in parentheses!" A figure suddenly appeared and crumpled to the ground. She grabbed onto the man and helped him sit down. "Hiya Hamilton! My name's K and I brought you here so you can see all your bad life decisions as a musical!"

Hamilton gulped.

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 ** _YO I FINALLY FOUND THAT RESEARCH FOR THIS ONE PART I PUT IN HERE THAT WAS SO UNIMPORTANT BUT I STILL THOUGHT WAS REALLY COOL. OK SO LOOK I SAID THAT HAMILTON WAS REALLY OVERBEARING WITH SICK PEOPLE RIGHT? TRUE FUCKING FACT LOOK..._**

 _His family doctor:_

 _"[Hamilton] devoted himself most assiduously to the care of his son, administering with his own hand every dose of medicine or cup of nourishment that was required. I may add that this was his custom in every important case of sickness that occurred in his family."_

 ** _AGHHHHH IS THAT SO FUCKING CUTE OMG OMG_**


	3. eliza interlude

**What the fuck? Y'all thought that bringing a man to watch his own life fall apart wasn't fucking awful?**

 **also lol i feel like i need to take some xanax after writing this**

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Alexander and K had left for another room, for a semblance of privacy. But privacy was not a good word for it when you were speaking to a stranger who seemed to more about you did.

"So, sorry for being so insensitive earlier. But, sir," She said looking at Hamilton intensely. "You've fucked up a lot." He cringed and nodded. Honestly, K could be referring to such a multitude of things that it wasn't worth fighting the losing fight. Her hand brushed her hair back behind her shoulder and she sighed.

"You're also pretty fucked up as well." He opened his mouth in protest, but then she rested her hand on his shoulder and looked at him with such understanding that his jaw shut loudly.

"I don't mean morally, calm down. And I don't mean in intelligence as well. As I said before, you can call me K, and I'm a psychology major, the study of the brain and it's reactions to what life throws at it." K finally removed her hand from his shoulder, but her eyes stayed focused on his.

"And I know and can see that life has thrown far too much at you to be healthy."

" How am I here right now? What is this place? " Alexander found his voice, the one thing that helped him survive all this time, and began to try and understand what was going on.

The brown-haired girl frowned sadly. "I can't tell you, and you're in a theatre obviously. Try again."

"How did you bring me to this theatre?" He repeated.

"I just said I can't tell you." K looked bored and studied her nail beds.

Alexander gritted his teeth. He didn't understand this girl, who seemed to be empathetic in one second, then cold as ice in the next. It was a coin toss, but heads or tails didn't matter, she just acted however she wanted. "Why is it that you are being so stubborn? I am not asking much, just how you have managed to rip me from my life, my office, to this unfamiliar place, along with my friends."

K sighed. "I. Can't. Tell. You." She looked up at him uninterested. "Or, more specifically, I won't tell you."

She laughed coldly. "Men really are idiots!" Her legs hooked over the chair she was sitting in and she maneuvered herself to be lying down on the armrests.

"What do you mean you won't tell me?" His voice shook in fury. K just shook her head and cracked her knuckles one by one absentmindedly. He clenched his fist and stood up angrily. "You have brought me to a room with my worst enemies. A room with the man who combats me at every stop simply to ruin me. A room with the man I worked with for months to defend the government we believed in only so he would turn tail to Jefferson."

"A room with my wife as well as her sister who wishes me dead, a sentiment I share myself." Tears pricked unnoticeably in Hamilton's eyes and K's eyes zeroed in, cold and steely. "A room with my friend who I abandoned in his time of need." Hamilton had a few inches on K, despite notoriously short, and he used those inches to his advantage and loomed down on her. K's eyes were dull and she still sat calmly, he legs crossed at the knee looking up at him.

"A room with my first friend who I looked up to so dearly, and has turned and run to Jefferson and Madison, as well as ruined my father-in-law for his own pursuits. A room where I am to watch myself crash and burn and destroy the life I craved from childhood and do so with the people I have simultaneously destroyed their lives." He looked at her furiously, but that did not deny the fact that tears were beginning to pour down his cheeks. "And you are to tell me, that you won't tell me, why?!"

K looked at him, her breathing quiet and steady compared to his frantic breaths. Hamilton started as he felt arms snake around his waist and a head rested on his shoulder. Turning slightly he was shaken as he saw Eliza sobbing into his collar.

"You idiot!" She clenched her fists in his vest. "You idiot, you, you, you! Wish you dead… I…" Her sobs wracked her small frame. "Never. Never, never, never say that, please! Please don't… why would I… Alexander…!"

"Eliza…" He whispered and turned to her fully. His arms shook as he slowly wrapped around her.

"I won't… I can't forgive you. But I want to, oh how do I want to. I love you, God I never haven't loved you… Alexander, oh! Everything you do leaves me helpless and drowning. Your touch leaves me to burn, and I fall deeper in love with you every second we are apart. I can't... I love you, Alexander Hamilton. Please…" Eliza fell to her knees, her arms drawing to her chest as she folded upon herself. Only seconds later did Hamilton follow her to the ground.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Oh God Eliza, I'm sorry, Eliza, Eliza. Betsey . I'm so sorry."

When K left the room silently, the door shutting behind her, she knew she had done the right thing.

She wiped away her own tears just as quietly.


End file.
